Strange Encounters LA: Korean Granny Mafia

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You may remember my previous Strange LA Encounter I had just a few weeks ago.

If you don’t, I think it’s worth the read to freshen your memory. Of course, I’m biased; however, it’s not because I get more money with higher readership––it’s because I have an ego with a big appetite.


Now that you’ve gotten back up to speed, you’ll recall that all of that action took place inside of my neighborhood Starbucks.

I’ve been abstaining from the monopolistic chain’s coffee confections because I’m training for a half-marathon and drinking my daily caloric intake in one foul swoop isn’t a good idea.

Today though, I decided to relent as a reward for dragging myself out of last weekend’s rut.

And, surprisingly, that prime table I mentioned last time? OPEN.

In fact, it was the only table open.

Cha-CHING!” I thought to myself (even though no monetary transactions were involved in securing said table).

I placed my books on the table to reserve my seat, bought my coffee (an unfamiliar flavor that I went out on a limb to try–vanilla spiced latte–definitely not my favorite), and returned to my table for my *Unpacking Ritual.

*see previous post for details

About 10 minutes into my stay, a well dressed, petite, old-ish, Korean lady stood looking down at me.

“Somebody sitting here?” she pointed to the chair across from me.

Before I can respond, she’s already pulled out the chair and made herself comfortable.

“Oh…no” I needlessly replied.

I continued to hyper-focus on the computer in front of me, to send the unspoken signal that HEY! I am a very busy woman don’t bother me. 

I thought my signal was clear, but apparently, it wasn’t clear enough.

She rummaged through her designer handbag and brought out a stack of pamphlets.

“You read later?” more of a command than a question as she slides one beside my laptop.

In big bold letters I can see the words “JESUS CHRIST” and I know I’ve just been ambushed by someone looking to save my soul from the eternal fires of hell.

“Um,” I responded awkwardly without moving nearer to it, “no thank you.”

I was raised as a Roman Catholic but haven’t been on the Christian bandwagon for a while now. The reasons are personal, numerous, and won’t fit in this blog post, but I will say that I don’t agree with “recruiting religions”. I think people should seek it out rather than have it forced onto them–but, to each his own.

Plus, I just wanted to drink my coffee.

She gave me a stern look as if I hadn’t fully understood that she was selflessly offering my soul a chance at redemption. She slowly withdrew her pamphlet. I looked down at my computer and continued to type a fake email.

Rude? Maybe.

Regrets? No.

As she sat in stony silence, I looked around and realized that there were two other Korean women, same description as my seat mate, all with dozens of pamphlets in their hands attempting to engage other uninterested customers in their messianic message.

It didn’t look like any of the others were successful, either.

One stood up and walked staright out of the store. As if in response, the other two abruptly stand and exit in silence.

What. Just. Happened?

I obviously just got cornered by the Korean Christ Mafia and didn’t even know it until it was over.


Google Image result for "Korean Granny". Totally fits, though.

Google Image result for “Korean Granny”. Totally fits, though.


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